I have been far busier this summer than I ever have been, except possibly 2007 when we had no dining room coordinator. I am doing things I never did before: the finances, pool maintenance, and my favorite, stocking the snack koop. The big hit this summer is the fruit chillers, only 50 cents! It's been so hot, eating those things slowly is very soothing. They come in mango and strawberry, but the kids think the mango ones are really peach.
What bugs me is not being able to spend as much time out with the people. Paying bills and vacuuming the pool are solitary activities. So I am working morning noon and night, as I always do in the summer, but it's a little less rewarding this year.
The other day I had to run to the store to buy a new blender, since our antique one finally conked out. I was so exhausted, when I parked, I just couldn't bring myself to get out of the car. I leaned the car seat back and napped for about ten minutes. As I drifted in and out of sleep, I reflected on my early days at Trinita in the 80s. I am running myself ragged now as I did then, out of pure love of the mission. I had never felt that way about any job I had before, which is why in 1984 I knew I needed to quit my job and find something I could be passionate about. I had dithered for years about finding something more engaging, but at Trinita, I finally became ready to let go, plunge in, take a chance on something new.
I woke myself up enough to get out of the car and run my errand. As I walked across the parking lot I found myself grinning, and I realized... I found what I wanted. I could have wimped out. I could have gone home and shook it off and kept my sensible job. I had a choice back then. Things could have turned out very differently, but here I am--totally exhausted and as happy as can be!
When I got back, I tossed the car keys on the countertop and grabbed a peach before heading up to deliver the blender. Suddenly the line from that old T. S. Eliot poem popped in my head. J Alfred Prufrock. Do I dare, do I dare to eat a peach? That was a hard choice for me in 1984. But I chose. Peaches are delicious. So are mangoes.
A Catholic mission in rural Connecticut since 1923: find out what the Missionary Servants are up to.
1 comment:
Allman Brothers Band: Eat a Peach. Great album.
This is a profound description of passion. I love that you were exhausted and happy. You might not be able to tell when you are IN the blender getting bashed around like a frozen strawberry in a daquiri, but you are making a HUGE impact on the lives of all who pass through the lumpy parking lot into Trinitaland.
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