Saturday, April 12, 2008

Luggage

I am back from another trip, this time by car. I went to Riverdale MD, Lower East Side Manhattan, and then to the Motherhouse in Philly. I saw various stages of spring--well, not so much in New York. I walked a lot and the weather was quite pleasant, but it's not like you can see fields of green grass and hedges of blooming forsythia there.

So much to think about. Each visit placed unique demands on my poor brain. The meeting in Riverdale was entirely in Spanish, so after a full day I was stuttering no matter which language I tried to use. New York is... New York. I hate it. Lucky for me, I love our sisters there, so I must admit it was a pleasure to be with them, though I could have done without all the meetings. Philly was the easiest. I was a guest in Blessed Trinity Formation Cenacle, which was my home before I went off to school. Of course, to make up for feeling most at home there, that is the meeting that has produced the most homework for me.

And in between the tri-state sequence of meetings, there was the driving. I listened to a lot of music, and thought many thoughts. I worry too much about things I cannot control, and I have to say, the music does help. When I finally climbed into the Cat Car to return to Trinita, I found a brown bag of snacks waiting for me on the windshield. Amazing. I dug into the orange sections first, and by the third song I was in such high spirits I did something I never have done before-I made a cell phone call while driving. I don't own a cell phone, but I had the cenacle Tracphone we use on road trips. I called Olivia and thanked her for the snacks, and I sang along with the CD while eating oranges. Just for a minute. Driving while eating, singing, and using a phone is not recommended.

But that trip back to Trinita was the hardest. I was just worn out I guess. I had to pull over and take a nap at a convenience store in New Jersey. When I finally got back here, it was a dreary and very un-spring-like afternoon. No flowers, no warmth, just a hint of green in patches of grass. I began to unload the car in a zombie-like state. Then I began unpacking. And unpacking. And unpacking. As I put everything away, I was realizing that I brought back so much more than I left with. Same amount of clothes, but so much more to think about. Each visit was challenging, each one added to what I must plan for, discern about, pray about.

How do you finish unpacking a suitcase full of responsibility?

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